The .htaccess House of Horrors: A Roast of h5bp/apache-server-configs
Ah, h5bp/apache-server-configs. Welcome to the repo that powers the internet's lingering attachment issues. You are the digital equivalent of a frantic Google search for "how to make website not slow" combined with "how to fix CORS error please help."
This repository is essentially a museum of web history preserved in declarative XML-ish spaghetti. Itβs a love letter to 1999, kept alive by the sheer terror of sysadmins who are too afraid to migrate to Nginx or Caddy.
π The "Copy-Paste and Pray" Methodology
Let's be honest: Nobody actually reads this code.
The entire existence of this repository relies on the "Stack Overflow Strategy." Developers blindly copy-paste 800 lines of configuration into an .htaccess file, restart the server, and then hyperventilate when they get a 500 Internal Server Error because they forgot to enable mod_expires.
You provide a configuration so comprehensive that it includes MIME types for file formats that haven't been opened since the Bush administration. Do we really need 40 lines defining the correct headers for .htc files and BlackBerry cache manifest files? Who are you trying to optimize for? A time traveler with a Palm Pilot?
π Performance? In My Apache?
The irony of a repo dedicated to "performance" relying on .htaccess is delicious.
* You: "We need high performance!"
* Also You: "Let's make the server scan every single directory recursively for a text file to parse regex rules on every single request."
Itβs like trying to win a Formula 1 race while towing a boat anchor, but painting flames on the boat so it looks fast.
π§ββοΈ mod_rewrite: The Black Magic Fuckery
The section on URL rewriting is where happiness goes to die. Apache's mod_rewrite syntax was clearly designed by a cat walking across a keyboard.
Your rewrite rules look like an ancient summoning ritual. One misplaced [L] or [QSA] and suddenly your "About Us" page is redirecting to a Russian gambling site or creating an infinite loop that heats the server room to the temperature of the sun.
π Security by Obscurity (and Headers)
I love the security section. Itβs just a laundry list of headers that say, "Please don't hack me."
You have lines dedicated to blocking access to .git folders and .DS_Store files, which is essentially an admission that developers are incompetent and will definitely upload their entire version control history to public_html.
Summary
h5bp/apache-server-configs is the repo we deserve, but not the one we want. It is a necessary evil, a bloated, regex-filled security blanket for the LAMP stack survivors.
Verdict: 10/10 would copy-paste again without reading, then blame the server when the regex breaks my API.